Spirituality and Children

This post is a combination of a book review and thoughts about how to raise our children with a sense of spirituality in a way that still allows them the freedom to find spirituality or religion on their own.

I’ve read more great books and watched more great documentaries this year than any year in my life. 2019 was a great year for learning. I plan on the same for 2020.

Laure and I are trying to figure out how and to what degree we expose our kids to spirituality, philosophy, and religion. "Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion" by Sam Harris, is one of the best modern (post-1950) philosophy books that I’ve ever read (2nd Fire: A Fresh Approach to Healing, by Bruce Relly, father to friend Tristan Relly is another). I credit Dr. Paul Pixler, professor of philosophy at Ft Lewis College, for opening my mind to philosophy and changing the course of my life. If I could’ve made any money at it, I would have been a philosopher theologian. (See the irony in that? True philosophers and theologians don’t value money.:-)

We want to raise our kids with a sense of spirituality, for reasons described below. Even though Harris' book is written as an atheist philosopher, I believe everyone who belongs to a religion would be a better member of their religion by reading and learning from this book. The author has a great academic background with a bachelor’s degree in philosophy from Stanford and a PhD in cognitive neuroscience from UCLA, plus “time in the real world” exploring philosophy and theology. The oversimplified summary of his message is this: Spirituality resides in each of us… in the purity of our consciousness and conscience, and the only barrier to experiencing that purity is our ego. Our ego, which is the flip side on the coin of insecurity, stands in the way of our pure spirituality. If you think about figures of influence like Jesus, Buddha, and Lao Tzu, they epitomized a completely ego-free consciousness, which enabled their ultimate manifestation of spirituality.

Our mom, Ruby Aveline Sanders, was a Christian of various flavors-- Methodist, Presbyterian, Episcopal. As kids, we were raised the same, but rarely going to church. For the most part, we were Two Holiday Methodists… Christmas and Easter services. When you boil it down, Mom’s religion and philosophy of life was based on a 1926 book (revised in 1938) by Ernest Holmes, “The Science of Mind: A Philosophy, A Faith, A Way of Life.” Mom’s wonderful influence on her children and many friends beyond our family, is embodied in her interpretation and practice of that book.

Which leads me to this: How do we raise our kids with a sense of spirituality? Maybe the right question is, why do we raise our kids with a sense of spirituality? Here are the Why’s that resonate with me… we’ll figure out the How, later.

The Anchor of No Matter What: Spirituality, whether internal or through external religion, provides an anchor during life’s troubled waters. No matter what life throws at you, you can anchor to the center of your spirit, you can weather the storm, and emerge better and stronger. Each storm thereafter becomes easier. Your confidence, peace, and comfort grow with each storm. No matter how alone you might feel at times, you can always return to the companionship of your spirit…the purity and peace of your consciousness.

Three Good Tears: A sense of spirituality is the force behind the tears of empathy you cry when you watch a nurse caring for a dying baby as if it were hers. It’s the force behind the tears of joy you cry when you see the smiles of achievement and self-esteem at the Special Olympics. It’s the force behind the tears of gratitude you cry in the silence of a forest during a snowstorm… or the tears you shed when you thank your best friend for being your best friend. These three types of good tears can wash away life’s tears of sorrow and heartache. I want our kids to experience all of this, the juices of humanity. In my observation, the true atheists of the world rarely shed these good tears—or tears of any kind. Paint me judgmental, but devout atheists are missing some of the best experiences of humanity—of our short time on this planet. It’s a bland and benign life, in my eyes.

How do we expose Anna and Luke to spirituality in a way that also allows them to find their own answers? What day-to-day things do we do, planting the seeds of their spiritual growth, which they can harvest when they feel the time is right?

There you have it. If you’ve managed to read this far, I’d love to hear from you, how your parents approached this topic, and, if you have kids, how you’ve approached it for them.